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Saturday, February 18th, 2006
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Friday, February 17th, 2006
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Tonight at midnight I stood above Salem, OR looking down from one of the highest points and thanked the Lord for making me as strong as he did this last year.
A year ago today I pulled up to my sisters house after a long drive across the United States with Mr. Jerome Sheldon next to me the entire way. As I walked up to their door I heard the voice of the Lord say Ang...my daughter...most amazing beautifully chosen princess...will you do something for Me? I responded in my head of course...thinking I knew what He was going to say. But I didn't. He then asked in a still small voice...will you coem away with Me for a year. I said most definately...where we goin?! He said right here, Oregon. As I picked my heart up off the ground I fought agaisnt this for about a month or so but finally gave in and said yes Lord, I will obey. But please help me.
He has been very faithful to me for this year. I have laughed more than ever and cried more than ever. I've tried to run yes...but always knew I had to stay. Towards the end God gave me more Grace than I realized. I have amde some of the most amazing friends and ones I will be close to no matter where I am at. I have even become closest to friends that were the farthest away.
As I looked back at my journal entries for the year things seem to have changed so much in myself. Its awesome to see. Even if it took some really hard times to get to it was worth it. I think one of the most changing and pivitol times was definately Life Change. This rocked my world so much. Im so happy God put me through it when he did. Its been amazing ever since. And by amazing I mean challenging, blessing, aggrivating, exilerating...simply...amazing.
Another amazing thing that happened, that I wasn't going to write about becasue of the prsent circumstance but if I think about it...there were those few things that really really chanegd me and this is one of them. Jerome Michael. What an amazing man of valor. I read a journal entry from a few months back...its like it changed my life all over again. I can definately see where God used this man to make help me grow closer and closer to the Lord through encouragment and strength in this last year...but that would not be giving him enough credit. It has actually been 3 years God has used him in my life. I thank the Lord for those 3 years and choose not to have even a shadow of regret. I pray amazing abundant blessings onto the life of God's warrior son.
Anotehr specific thing the Lord did was heal a broken relationship between my mom and I. This has been THE most challenging time in my life with this. Its been hard, rough, infuriating and in the end...I am extremly grateful for my mom! She is an amazing women of God that seeks to please her Father. She loves me with an everlasting love becasue she enjoys to lvoe me and this is something I never knew before becasue my eyes were so blind to love. Now Im beginning to see what love it though. In manya reas. I do love. I love a lot. It hurts...but its worth it.
Sooo...as I arive at the end of this year, how am I doing now?
My heart is broken, my eyes are puffy from tears, I sleep on a floor, I work 9-5/m-f and I am completly in LOVE with life!! You see friends...its not about the circumstances, its about the opportunites wherever you're at. Be excellent...do the best you can with what you've got where you're at. Be content but never staisfied. Be real but never shallow. Be honest but gaurd your heart. Just be.
I am free!! And watch out cause I've got some MAJOR catching up to do! Here I come world!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, February 13th, 2006
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This is so crazu beacseu I remember posting pictures when Elliott was first born. I didnt think I would ever say this but...I cant wait to have one of my own!! But I will!!! lol.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Sunday, February 5th, 2006
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Is it true?
Or is it fiction?
The thing about fiction
It covers up the mess
We would rather have a clean face
Then a messy heart
We all know about messy hearts
They require patience
And we all know patience
Is an impossible thing to obtain
Or is it?
Or are we just selfish?
Gaining our own lusts
Convincing ourselves of our own stability
I am ok.
I am ok.
I am ok.
Don’t let them see me this way
I am fun to be around
I am the life of the party
Look at me I have talent
You see? Talent!
Don’t watch my heart unfold
That’s not for you to see
I’d like it if you would step back
Your crowding my space
Get the hell away from me
I am ok.
I am ok.
I am ok.
Lets have a party
This will all go away
Just look the other way.
I have a big smile right here.
Saved just for this occasion
I am ok.
Change us God.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
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I am just me. A free spirit yes.
"Not affected or restricted by a given condition or circumstance."
I love to travel I love to just be.
The feeling of the wind on my face driving to nowhere is the perfect feeling.
With people or without there is always an adventure to be had!!
I love to capture the world as I see it through photography
I went to school for video and use those talents as much as possible
Listening to the right kind of music at the right moment would bring my lifeless body back to life if it had to
I worship the Lord with my life.
I will use every second of it as wisely as possible.
I mess up and make mistakes and I act like a fool and He adores me just the same.
I like a good white russian and a cigar with my bro in law.
I throw stuff off bridges to make my self feel better.
I like crispy leaves under my feet.
I like it when my car is clean.
Swings make me sick when I go to fast.
My first dogs name was Jed.
I try and take a different route to work every chance I can.
One day I will go to Africa.
Im planning a trip to London.
Ive been to all but 6 states.
I buy $60 shoes for $20 (saucony).
I layer my clothes.
Im known at work as the girl that wears the clothes no one else could and makes it work.
I like to express myself through ways people wouldnt expect.
I like to catch people off gaurd.
I love to give people cards (Between You and Me -Hallmark BEST EVER).
Im planning a trip to Laguna Beach Feb 16-20.
My favorite food is rice.
I like things that are squishy.
Three is better than two.
I talk to strangers.
I would fly anywhere at anytime if it was offered to me.
I LOVE DINERS!!.
Myspace is scene and I dont give a shit.
I like reality shows that actually have a point.
I dont give a CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP about politics.
Im constantly changing.
Community is the best thing you could do for yourself.
My favorite book is the dictionary (below the Bible of course).
I always wonder what people are thinking when they stare off into space.
My second toe is longer than my big toe.
I bite my nails SO THERE.
When I see the ocean time stops for about 7.28 seconds.
I can sit at home and do absolutly NOTHING on my day off.
I can stay out all day and night and do random things on my day off.
Im content MOST of the time.
I dont get what the big deal is about Star Wars.
I wish I could have dreadlocks.
I love my friends.
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And for the ladies....
Theres this guy...
He thinks Im beautful
He calls me back when I hang up
He loves to lay under the stars just to look at me
He likes to show me off expecially when Im in hoodie and scrubs
He tells me, with little gifts, how lucky he is to have ME
His favorite kiss is a kiss on my forehead
He looks at me when Im stressed and he whispers I love you
He carries a picture of me in his wallet
He stands behind me and pushes me to the top
When Im sick he brings me flowers
When Im well he brings me flowers
He holds my hand in front of his friends
He touches my back just to let me know he is there
He tells his friends they should be jealous
He is full of surprises and the ones he knows I enjoy
My purity is second only to God to his heart
His eyes brighten 100 times over when he sees me
He smiles just to say my name
His heart beats in line with the Lords
When he worships all of heaven hears
His daily on his knees before His Jesus, his best Friend
He strives to provide for me
He delights in sacrifce if it means our love will grow
He holds me and tells me Im perfect
He encourages me to be more like ME
He sees me through the Lords eyes
I inspire him to be FREE
He loves me as more than life
He delights in me
He writes to me words of love
He laughs at my jokes even when they arent funny
He misses me when I leave the room
He adoooooooooooooores my nose
He covers my weaknesses with love
He shows me how to live effectively
He treats every woman with the utmost respect
He has manners
He loves his mom
He appreciates a good talk over a good drink
We laugh together for ABSOLOUTLEY NO REASON AT ALL!!
He throws leaves down in front of my feet just so I can crunch them
He loves to romance me
He leaves me love notes on my windshield
He forgives me when Im an ass
He NEVER asks me if Im on my period
He loves me with an agape love.
He turns to the world and says,
"Yeah, thats her."
Its nice to meet you sir.
(Thats ok girls you can steal that from me. WE ALL deserve him!!! Dont settle for anything less.)
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
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Jan: This is the part of the new year where you lay in bed late at night after just having an either really good or potentialy bad new years.
Feb: I freakin love you for always!!
Mar: I have 10 minutes to FINALY do an update.
Apr: Hooooly crap!!!!!!!
May: So things have sorta been very intense lattely.
June: Guess who I talked to today.....FREAKIN JESUS!!!
July: You are 25 years old.
Aug: So my grandma was diagnosed with cancer last monday, went home, got worse, went to the hospital on wednesday, got worse, slipped in and out on saturday, and she died on sunday and was buried today. (yikes)
Sep: What do YOU think of the way you look?
Oct: KATRINA...destruction through the eyes of an optimist.
Nov: Im a crazy mo fo....
Dec: The book I have just read has officially turned my life upside down. (first full sentance.)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, December 19th, 2005
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Hello everyone!! I lvoe you alll...you make me SMILE!!!
And you make me wonder...lol!
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND you leave me guessin....hahahaha Im a ginormous dorkus!!
Lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 10th, 2005
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The book I have just read has officially turned my life upside down. I'm ready for a new adventure. Im ready to take life by the horns and not let anything get in my way. Erwin McManus writes about the life of most "Christians" and how they have become civilized as opossed to barbaric! I do NOT want to be civilized anymore. I want to be like my Jesus who was anything but civilized. He was crazy, insane and dangerous. Just like he was supossed to be. An individual. His disciples just as crazy and just as individual. The least in the land. Ex-tx collectors and drunkards. They werent priest but fisherman, they smelled and werent educated. They were perfect.
The Barbarian:
"They live their lives with every step moving forwardand with every fiber of their being fighting for the hert of their King. Jesus Christ has become the ll consuming passion of their lives. They are not about religion or position. They have little ptience for institutions or bureaucracies. Their lack of respect for tradition or ritual makes them seem uncivilized to those who love religion. When asked if they are Christians their answer might suprisingly be no, they are passionate followers of Jesus Christ. They see Christianity as a world religion, in many ways no different from any other regligious system. Whether Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, or Christianity, they're not about religion; they're about advancing the revolution Jesus started two thousand years ago."
Can I hear an AMEN!! That revolution, Im all about advancing it!! Here's more...
"Somewhere along the way the movement of Jesus Christ became civilized as Christianity," he writes. "We created a religion using the name of Jesus Christ and convinced ourselves that God's optimal desire for our lives was to insulate us in a spiritual bubble where we risk nothing, sacrifice nothing, lose nothing, worry about nothing. I wonder how many of us have lost our barbarian way and have become embittered with God, confused in our faith because God doesn't come through the way we think He should."
Oh the BOX we have decieded to put the Creator of the universe in. Such a small confortable box. My God is way too big for this world even the universe. There is now ay He could ever be contained especially in my mind. Thats why He blows it so often! one part specifically that blew me away was his view on discpleship. Wow. You know when someone just puts in to words what you were thinking...
"Discipleship is translated into standardizing everyone into the same pattern. We have equated the promise that we would be conformed into the image of Christ with a belief that all of us will be the same. Discipleship has beome the mechanism for uniformity rather than uniqueness."
This is exactly what I was thinking. It should not be that way!! The person who disciples you should be more of a coach than a boss. They should faciltate you not dominate you.They should bring confirmation to the things God is speaking to you. Not have them speak and then just listen and maybe go to God with it. If they disagree with a decision you make they should let you make whatever decision you will and no matter what stick with you and be there for you. Your going to make mistakes. God knows that, for some reason people just dont realize that. Even though they make the same mistakes. All in all...YOU DONT HAVE TO BE PERFECT!! Your gonna mess up...HELL YEAH...so lets get on with it!!
Alright peeps, there's 148 pages of amazing things I could write in here. But Then Im sure Erwin would be upset I put his whole book on the net. ;) So lets live differently, let strive to be like Jesus, a crazy son of the GOD!!
Angela
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 2nd, 2005
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Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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so some of you will know what im talking about...some wont...the whole surgery thing...yeah so I get admitted to the hospital, get an IV and get all prepped and then a nurse comes in and is like ummm...we didnt prepare you right for this surgery the last couple days so we cant do it...so again you need to not eat for 2 days and do what you need to do...DANGIT...help me through this Lord. Next try...Friday @ 2:15.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
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-a BEAUTIFUL woman of God
-a picture of Gods grace
-funny in ways I could never get to
-honest in everything
-someone who is willing to die for her friends
-filled with pride and dedication
-a creative woman
-someone who God trusts with His secrets
-a woman who God shows off to His buddies :)
-the best gift under the tree waiting to be opened
-a woman with a heart of comapassion
-NOT a failure but a lover and a giver
-NOT a dissapointment but one who we shout for joy for
-a friend who no matter how rough things get will "bake another batch of cookies" ;)
-a freakin GOOD ASS COOK
-a girl with greta taste in music
-a romantic
-a juliet, willing to die for
-a lily among a field of thorns
-a warrior for the kingdom of God...to fight for her God and to do whatever she can to see Him get the glory!!
I love you Monica. You are worth it and you are wonderful!!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Sunday, November 13th, 2005
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Im going to write about the alst 24 hours of my life...they have been hard/beuatiful/simple/amazing/changing/real/stretching/urban...had to throw that in there. :)
I want to start out by saying God is so amazing. To look back at a year ago today and see how far I have come and even fartehr than that 2 years ago from today..well it so encouraging to do. Lets start with yesterday evening...
I was having a sort of hard day. Emotions running wild..when you feel as though your being avoided, rejected or dissapointing its hard to keee up your spirits up. I had stayed at home all day by myself. ia ctually relaly liked this cause recently ANgela doesnt get a lot of alone time. Work has got me pretty busy. So I deceided to call up a girl a dont usually hang out with a lot just to change things up a bit. I dont have a lot of extremly close friends here so this was a step for me. I love this girl though so it wasnt too hard. Anyway, she was going through seom major things as well...ex getting married that day yadda yadda. That will do it. So we went to go see a couple of guys new apartment. It was small and awesome!! They had two posters on the wall that made my day...Bob Dylan and Bob Marley... WHAT MORE COULD A GIRL ASK FOR!! So then there was someone there that had got offended by some happenings and one thing lead to another and I was getting yelled at and pointed at and cussed at. Now for all those who actually know me...I do NOT deal with anger well. There was a point about a year a half ago where a certain boy named Greg ripped me a new one for no reason at all and I ended up running away, crying with no shoes and they all had to coem find me. It was horrible. I usually shut off and run. BUT...last night I didnt!! I let everyone in the whole house yell and scream whilest trying to "calm him down". Which I just want to say if you want someone who is upset to talk quiter the number one thing that WONT work..yelling or even telling him to be quiet. lol! So I didnt say anything as this person blew up at me and for all I knew was going to hit me. I sat and listened to him. I didnt say a word. Everyone freaking. Then after he was done and went into the other room I asked him if I could speak with him. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. I took him into the bathroom because its impossible to be too serious if your talking in a bathroom and we worked out or stuff without raising our voices at all and hugged and made up. Then today he came up and appologized for yelling and worked on his crap and it was awesome!! I confronted the situation and didnt get scared and run away and OH MY GOODNESS it felt so good and encouraging. :)
Ok second.. (I KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT I NEVER WRITE SO THERE!!!)
Today at church we watched a video about Jim Elliot and his friends who were killed in Ecuador by tribes by being speared to death. I always knew thats how he died but I didnt know the sotry about what happeened afterwards....the wives of the men who were killed made friends with the tribe that killed their husbands!! And by friends I mean they became their family. The grandson of the one of the men that was killed asked for one of the men that killed his grandfather to come to his graduation in the US and the man eneded up being like his grandfather he never knew. The tribe got saved and the daighter of one of the men that was killed was baptized in the river in the very spot where they threw her fatehrs body after the speared him. The two men that baptized her...killed her father!! And they saw them as family and they brought them to the Lord!!! I cried my eyes out. Who are we to be a bitter people and hold grudges...WE ARE NO ONE!! We need to forget these things we think we have "every right" to be mad about, give them to the Lord. And get back to advancing the Kingdom of God!
I am so excited about what the Lord is doing and want you all to know that. God is amazing and I love Him and am doing all I can to be more like my Jesus. I love you guys.
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:59 am. |
| Mood: |  chipper. | | Music: | Jerome Sheldon. |
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Here are MOOOORE pics... for kicks and giggles of course... :)
( Read more... )
Theres MILLIONS!!! beware.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, November 11th, 2005
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"All things work together for good to them that love
God." Romans 8:28
The circumstances of a saint's life are ordained of
God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as
chance. God by His providence brings you into
circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but
the Spirit of God understands. God is bringing you
into places and among people and into conditions in
order that the intercession of the Spirit in you may
take a particular line. Never put your hand in front
of the circumstances and say - I am going to be my own
providence here, I must watch this, and guard that.
All your circumstances are in the hand of God,
therefore never think it strange concerning the
circumstances you are in. Your part in intercessory
prayer is not to enter into the agony of intercession,
but to utilize the common-sense circumstances God puts
you in, and the common-sense people He puts you
amongst by His providence, to bring them before God's
throne and give the Spirit in you a chance to
intercede for them. In this way God is going to sweep
the whole world with His saints.
Am I making the Holy Spirit's work difficult by being
indefinite, or by trying to do His work for Him? I
must do the human side of intercession, and the human
side is the circumstances I am in and the people I am
in contact with. I have to keep my conscious life as a
shrine of the Holy Ghost, then as I bring the
different ones before God, the Holy Spirit makes
intercession for them.
Your intercessions can never be mine, and my
intercessions can never be yours, but the Holy Ghost
makes intercession in our particular lives, without
which intercession someone will be impoverished.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
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Im a crazy mo fo....
And my personal favorite.....
What do you think?!?! :)
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 21st, 2005
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stuuufffff...thought Id let you know...stuuuuufffff. :)
I miss everyone everywhere.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, October 15th, 2005
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Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
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ok so I found out those pics are not of Katrina...BUT they are cool. :)
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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visiblevideo's journal
content.
saddness of missing peeps....
